IDGAF about grades and standardized testing

I attended an informational meeting this morning about the standardized testing they do at my daughter's school, which begins in second grade.

As I was leaving the meeting, I was reflecting on the fact that I really do not give a shit about test scores or grades or any other marker of "success" of childhood education.

Yes, obviously at some point grades have consequences, and at some point she will need to move to the next level of education so I will support her in whatever achievements she needs to accomplish in order to meet the goals of her education and eventual career. But I do not deeply CARE about these things, and I don't believe they are any useful or objective measure of capacity or goodness or aptitude (or even knowledge, really.) They certainly don't tell me what kind of PERSON I am raising.

When it comes to "outcomes" of parenting this child throughout her lifespan, I only deeply care about the answers to these:

• Is she happy?

• Does she feel free to be herself?

• Is she kind to herself + others?

• Does she understand how the world works, while also holding hope for a better world?

• Is she emotionally intelligent, resilient, and confident?

• Can she move through her days without shame or unwarranted anxiety?

• Is she a strong ally and advocate for herself + others?

• Does she have meaningful relationships and a sense of belonging?

• Does she feel safe in her body + spirit?

• Would she say she has the support she needs to get through tough times and tackle hard things?

  
  

Being able to answer YES to all of these questions is MUCH more important to me as a parent than being able to say she scored in the 90th percentile on the ERB tests (or whatever). Not that I am not proud of her brilliant mind, but it is not a measurement of her value as a human being nor of my success as a parent.

What about you? What are your thoughts about such things? If you want to talk more about this style of high-EQ parenting, please consider enrolling in my 3 hour workshop on May 31st called "How To Raise Kind + Strong-hearted Kids"- we will cover stuff like this. You can register here, (and as always, if fees are prohibitive, please reach out and we can work something out!)