Elon/DT: A Masterclass in how NOT to

This Elon/Don nonsense is a prime example of how NOT to do conflict. It's petty, personal, low-blow. It's violent and intends to do harm. It lacks empathy, self-awareness, and any shred of humanity. It does not look to a healthy resolution or eventual reconciliation because once you go THERE, it's pretty impossible to rebuild trust.

It is also quite a tidy microcosm for how a lot of real life, non-narcissistic, non-billionaires default to doing conflict because they literally don't know how to do otherwise. And when people in powerful positions model shit like this, it embeds it as a strategy in the psyches of folks who value "strength" and "power" over "connection" and "empathy".

Please do not give in to the desire to dehumanize ANYONE. Even our "enemies". I know it's hard. But all the terrible things in the world, from tiny 1:1 interactions out in the world that hurt feelings and harm relationships, to these massive global pissing contests, to all-out wars (and g - sides!!!!!), rely on dehumanizing other people in order to move forward. If you see everyone as a full person, it is much more difficult to vilify them and throw them in the trash and refuse to care about them. (Or to k*** them)

I think the world would be better off without these men, and I am appalled at the scale of suffering they have collectively caused. AND, they show us what is true, which is that we all suffer when we refuse to hold and honor each other's humanity.

I'm NOT saying "go high when they go low" and NOT saying there is any humanity left in these particular humans, just saying...this is actually an instinct a lot of us have: to blow up everything just to "win" and to see the other person as less valuable than ourselves.

Learning to do conflict well is a skill that benefits everyone, because it requires us to hold each person's humanity closely. And, even if we don't wish to continue in relationship with that person, allow them to proceed in their own life without attempting to destroy them.

What we do at HeldSpaceSTL is affirm every person's humanity and work towards healthier, happier relationships. Also, tho, tbh, f*** these guys. But you regular people? We got this. We can do better. All group signups here: https://calendly.com/rootsandkeyscoaching